"I was on the way to 'end my pregnancy.' At least that’s how I thought of it at the time. As I leaned forward to give the taxi driver the clinic’s address, the safety pin holding my skirt together popped and stuck me in the side. I flinched at the momentary prick, unaware of the visceral pain I was to experience in about an hour. Refastening the pin, I leaned back into the worn leather seat and a button on my blouse gave way. Although just ten weeks pregnant, my body had already begun preparing to nurture the life I was about to snuff out. Except back then, I didn’t think it was a life. It was 1975, just two years after the Roe vs. Wade decision made abortion legal. The ruling also established that what was inside of me was not a 'person,' ...."
That's the opening to this book. Here's an excerpt from later in the book:
"On March 3, 2011, I had a dream that a baby was handed to me. It was a girl, less than a year old. Her eyes were at half-mast, closing on and off, as if she’d been sleeping before she was given to me. She was wearing a pink and white striped “onesie,” those one-piece tee shirts that snap around the baby’s diaper. I held her very carefully in my arms, trying to determine the best way to hold her. Then I gently placed her on my shoulder.
Suddenly she was gone. And I knew she’d been put in a bottle and thrown in the trash in Brooklyn. I was in a panic and got in my car, heading to Brooklyn to try and find her. My thoughts were, Could she breathe? Had the garbage truck come yet? Would the baby still be there? It was, like so many of my dreams, weird. A baby in a bottle thrown in the trash? I recorded the dream in my journal, prayed a little about it.... A few months later the dream came to mind, with a prompting to Google “abortion and bottle.” I was so taken aback by the out-of-the-blue thought, I didn’t even think about my own abortions. But when I did the search, the world fell away...."
One more excerpt:
"I had never specifically brought my own abortions before the Lord because I had grouped them with all the other immoral things I’d done—and there were plenty. But after this revelation, God started to teach me, to show me, that what had been in my womb were babies, not inanimate objects that the words “embryos” or “fetuses” bring to mind. I kept thinking about that first part of Jeremiah 1:5, the Scripture verse in my dream: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb...” That says that God is the author of life, that He designed the incredible process within our bodies that creates life. That means that He forms us, formed me, formed my babies, including the beautiful inside-and-out child that He allowed me to have...."
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